First Day Of My Demise is about love. Actually it’s about giving up. That’s a sad way to approach love.
This song has been somewhat my mantra since I first wrote it many years ago. It’s more of a prophecy than a philosophy. When was that first day of my demise? Have I even had it yet? I think so. I believe, at this point in my life, that it was the first day I decided that love was a tangible thing. If you ever read any of the lyrics of my old mid-90s grunge band hHead you’d know that many of them were about a disdain for love. Total bullshit. I’m old enough to know now that there was no disdain, just fear. I used to think it was just a chemical reaction in the body. I don’t think that’s so anymore. I believe love is an emotion and emotions are more then chemical. We are more than chemical and I don’t mean that in a new-agey fucked-up hippie way. I believe in the ‘soul’ in the sense that it’s something intangible but none the less real.
Love is the most vulnerable of all the emotions. Is it learned like awkwardness? I don’t think so. It’s more innate like shame. Though just like shame, you can learn to not feel it. Those of us who walk around ‘soulless’ are probably just loveless or lovelost. I believe (at this moment, who know’s if tomorrow I’ll want to delete this) that love is: feeling (the soul’s body), thought (the soul’s head) and empathy (the soul’s limbs).